I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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