she was so not down for the gang bang
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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