p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We left an ass print on the piano.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
