She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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