He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
