jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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