Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
