and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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