I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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