and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We're too hungover to prance.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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