just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
