Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He's on the porch naked. Help.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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