Please, let me fuck your mom
well you can't waste a boner
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i came on her dog
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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