tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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