She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
