his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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