my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
