I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
