i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
