I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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