Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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