BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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