So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
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