Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I FOUND THE LEGS
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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