he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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