I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
