I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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