Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
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