There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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