honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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