Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
