I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
