is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
