It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Let's get the cat blown out
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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