no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
