covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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