she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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