oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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