Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
