I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Randomize
