I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
