those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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