So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I think I died a long time ago.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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