And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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