the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
