I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Randomize
