am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
