PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
