it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
