Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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