He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
