She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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