he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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