we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
