If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
