Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
