Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
