Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
