I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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