I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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