i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
